Murphy's Other Laws

• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have any film.
• He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
• A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
• Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
• I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
• Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
• Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
• It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.
• The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
• It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
• You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
• Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world population.
• If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
• The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
• Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
• A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
• Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
• I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.